Yes, you read that right. Enough apologising just to appease others. Put yourself first, nobody should be a bigger priority. Because if you don’t take care of yourself then who will?
From a young age – especially as an Asian girl – it’s ingrained in us to do things for others – your elders, then your husband and in-laws, then your kids. So the concept of putting ourselves first could seem quite alien…wrong, even.
But the logic is so simple – like the safety advice on a plane: put your gas mask on first before helping others.
Helping ourselves first will not only save us from breaking point and draining out, but it makes us more efficient too. How you use that efficiency is your call – whether you use the energy towards your family, your job, your friends or multiply it back to yourself – there is no right or wrong answer.
You do you.
But it all starts from looking within before we can look out. If people don’t understand you or label you as selfish/irresponsible, etc – that’s on them. Your time on earth isn’t to please others, it’s to be at one with yourself (and the Almighty if you believe in a Superior Power).
I realised recently that I try to cram so much into my life thinking I’m doing it for myself – whether it’s socialising with friends, pampering or seeing family. But all I really needed to do for myself was…stop.
Yes, stop…take a breath…live in the moment. Forget the long to-do list at work, pause the chores at home, just let it be you and the moment. The moment could be an hour, a day, whatever suits you. The greatest thing is there are no rules – apart from taking time out for yourself, of course.
And this especially goes for the mums out there – taking an hour or two out will not end the world. The laundry, the cooking, the screaming kids can wait.
We somehow make time for everything else under the sun.
If something means enough to you then you will make time for it.
It gives you a moment for your mind and body to process. It gives you time for introspection. You see things from a different perspective.
Some people call this meditation, others say it’s mindfulness. Forget the labels and adhering to what society is drilling down on you.
Just make time for yourself and see how your outlook on life changes.
Raj Bilkhu 