To be or not to be happy for the couple..?

Hello again. Apologies for the lengthy absence but life has been somewhat of a rollercoaster ride in the last couple of months. Safe to say, I’m now back and rearing to ramble on a bit more! This weekend full of royal festivities and family wedding celebrations has excited me about the year ahead. My calendar is literally bursting with weddings and most importantly my very own brother’s! But along with the joyous notion of marriage has been the politics of nuptial pessimism. So, today I’m putting “marriage” under the spotlight.

I really enjoyed watching Prince William and Kate’s, oh sorry – I should say Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding on Friday. It was the most watched marriage of all time – wow, talk about pressure on the couple! Fortunately, all went well for the loved up pair, despite Kate looking cool as a cucumber but swelling under the nerves, which was evident from the challenge William had to get the ring on! They genuinely looked happy and appreciative to the masses who gathered to see them, which they acknowledged by teasing the crowd with not only one but two cheeky kisses on the palace balcony! No wonder the Queen swiftly decided the display of affection needs to come to an end when she walked back inside as an indicator that the others should follow suit! I’m sure we can all relate to her traditionalist attitude that mirrors many of the oldies in our families!

So, the big day ran smoothly, Britain attracted the eyes of millions worldwide and hundreds of people made the added effort of travelling here to witness the momentous occasion. But leading up to the big day, a lot of the media speculated on the success of their marriage. Will and Kate had only just pronounced the date and already people were wondering how soon they would split up! Is that even fair? If you’re not a royalist then at least for the sake of compassion, be happy for them. Have we become so pessimistic that we would rather bet on the likelihood of a divorce than the success of a marriage? Maybe some people are just pessimistic of the monarchy but experiences closer to home have made me realise that a lot of people will oppose the marriage of someone they know. Opposing the institution of marriage for personal beliefs is one thing – then you simply don’t get married. But why is it that whenever a couple are set to tie the knot, there’s always someone who has a problem? And if this is such a common phenomenon, it begs the question – what fuels this opposition: pessimism, jealousy or just bitterness? Or, have we simply lost the ability to be happy for others?

Speaking from experience, I was elated to hear the news of my brother’s engagement. As most sisters do, I had planned for years what I would be wearing, how each function would be executed and how the wedding would be made memorable. But some people had another agenda. For reasons that need not be detailed, there have been a handful of households who seem intent on making the marriage difficult. No matter how hard you try, they are somehow offended or you hear rumours that you allegedly said/did something, which are all but Chinese whispers. It has amazed me that so many people could go out of their way to dampen the festivities of a couple who are planning their big day.

This is only one instance, the examples are endless of people refusing to attend weddings to prove a point or spreading rumours to jeopardise celebrations. Personally, I don’t think I am capable of possessing enough pity for such people. Instead, I focus my energy on being happy for the couple who deserve at least a day (or a week when it comes to Indians!) of unadulterated joy. It’s the beginning of a new life, the merging of two families, the foundations of a new union. Not to mention the partying and glamourous outfits – what is there not to rejoice?!

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