It’s the end of 2022 – where has the year gone?!
The current socials trend is people sharing the highs of the past 12 months – holidays, weddings, babies, gigs…it’s felt refreshing compared to the previous two years where Covid dictated much of what we could – or more like couldn’t do.
But what we don’t share in public are the more emotional or negative moments of our lives. And this is what makes some people feel paranoid about the “lack of” in their own life.
However, social media is not a reflection of reality. It’s a lens manufactured to project a world people want you to see.
One thing I’ve realised this year is the impact of Covid on social circles. The new normal is not to have big gatherings on a regular. The new normal is to celebrate intimately. The new normal is not to just pop over to see relatives. The new normal is to overthink whether to contact someone to congratulate them on good news or enquire how they are if you hear they’ve been unwell – because you want to avoid upsetting or offending someone.
I’ve also noticed diminishing patience. We’re not as forgiving or accommodating. Instead, if something or someone has annoyed us we’re quick to cut them off. In most cases I agree – it’s about time we didn’t tolerate toxic people or situations and put ourselves first. But on the flip side we are burning bridges over trivial issues that mean nothing in the bigger picture.
In this year I have learnt of people around my age (in their 30s) passing away suddenly or having a life-changing illness like a stroke or heart attack. And it makes you think life truly is too short.
So, to hell with people or situations that don’t serve you. But think twice before walking away. Not everything is as simple as black and white.
Another observation that I think comes with age is how many people in your life are actually well-wishers. It’s natural for people to fade out of your life as your priorities change. After marriage I’ve moved to a different city so I can’t socialise with friends and family the way I did, but I’ve tried to maintain a connection. Not everyone reciprocated and before you know it the year has gone by without any interaction. Has it affected their life? Probably not. Has it altered my life? Only so much as a passing thought.
We evolve year on year. What matters to us changes. And sadly that applies to people too.
If you’ve drifted from someone who means a lot to you or there’s friction – how many times do you reach out? Do you try once and give up if they don’t reciprocate? Or do you keep trying because they mean too much to let them go?
You can’t force someone to remain in your life.
I’ve come to accept that some people are only in our lives for a certain time and once our time is done we move on to forge new relations.
At the start of this year I had ambitions I was intent on smashing. But things didn’t pan out as intended. And at one point it felt like the universe is against me. It felt like a bigger power was colluding my downfall.
And after a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself I remembered the things that truly matter. What I’m grateful for and blessed to have. I remembered that I’m not losing anything. In fact, any change in life is a gain – whether a life lesson, material gain or spiritual progression.
You are where you’re meant to be even if it wasn’t where you planned to be. Have faith in the process and embrace what life throws your way.
I look back on 2022 and realise I’ve dealt with stress, grief and chaos in a way I never thought I could. You don’t realise what you could handle until you’re eye-deep in the crap.
Changing your outlook to a situation will instantly change the outcome.
On that note, this blog has been enough of a verbal vomit of what’s running around in my mind.
I hope you’re able to reflect on the good and not so good aspects of the last year and see both as a gain. And I wish you more gains in 2023 to propel you to a place of happiness and content.
Happy New Year!
Raj Bilkhu 