Why is my marriage such a concern for the world?

Why are others more concerned about my marriage than me?

Is it genuine concern or snooping? Is there underlying bitchiness or jealousy involved?

Maybe people find my freedom a threat…

My mum is the only person who I can genuinely believe is concerned but even that concern is triggered by worry of what others will think.

Why is my expiry date for marriage determined by society?

At a time when divorce rates are at an all time high, shouldn’t these so-called concerned samaritans be grateful I’m single and happy and not married and depressed, or divorced?

Will my achievements in education, career, family, friends, independence ever get recognition? Or is an Asian woman’s achievement dictated by how soon she got married, what her husband does, how many children she has – God forbid she only has daughters!

When the hell will everyone tear away from these social demands to live and let live a little?!

Ironically, all my married friends do is moan about their in-laws, those with a baby moan about finance or lack of social life, those in a relationship moan about issues with their partner.

Thank you God for sparing me that bull****!

On a practical level, I agree settling down earlier makes sense to start a family with potentially fewer biological problems. And I’d rather be a young mum than one whose old enough to be my child’s gran. But why should I settle for just anyone because my biological clock is ticking? Imagine how screwed up my child would be if my marriage was a farce!

And then I’m accused of being fussy. Well I’m sorry if the only guys who approach me are non-Indian. And the marriage proposals I get are guys who boast themselves on Facebook with pictures of them paralytic, find me too intimidating because I have a brain or they’re still attached to their mummies by the umbilical cord.

People find it shocking when I give just two requirements for my life partner. So please tell me, how does that make me fussy exactly..? No really, tell me – how on Earth does it make me fussy that I have preferences on what the man who I plan to spend the rest of my life with, live out my dreams with and start a family with, will be like?

I’ve got a feeling this rant will go on a while so its best I declare it: rant over!


Should Britain apologise for the Raj?

Cameron at the Golden Temple in Amritsar, PunjabLast week, David Cameron was in India on a diplomatic trip to strengthen business ties with Britain’s former colony. During his trip it became apparent to me just how desperately the UK was looking to please India. Ironic?

Cameron went out of his way to explicitly say no Indian would be refused a study visa in Britain. Bending the rules for Indian investment in our universities? Hardly surprising when Indians are the second highest number of foreign students here.

What stood out in Cameron’s trip for me was his paying homage to Jallianwala Bhag in the Punjab. He is the first serving British PM to visit the site where almost a century ago British troops opened fire, unprovoked, on thousands of peaceful demonstrators, who were predominately Sikh. Brigadier General Reginald Dyer, who instructed this barbaric act, died a hero.

Cameron acknowledged what happened in 1919 and said it was “shameful”.

Many critics have attacked this as a pitiful reaction and insist he should’ve apologised. Although Cameron says he won’t apologise for something that occurred decades before he was born.

For arguments sake, say he did apologise for the Jallianwala Bagh massacre. Where will the apologies end? There is no denying the British Raj helped India by developing infrastructure, inspiring a constitution and making English one of the most spoken languages in the country. But the list of torture, pain and injustice committed by the Raj is endless. Not to mention looting the country of her wealth and jewels. Many even argue the Brits imposed a divided India, hence the partition, after which a once united population became segregated. In modern India, the Raj is commonly described as instigating “divide and rule”.

Map of the British EmpireAnd if the apologies begin then why stop there? What about the rest of the Commonwealth where Britain spread dictatorship (former British Empire pictured right)?

If Cameron were to apologise for everything that happened during British occupancy of the Commonwealth, he would have no time to run the country!

If an apology is needed I think it’s apt it comes from the Queen. Not only was she head of state during the British Empire, her family benefited from looting the colonies!

Realistically, how far back should Britain, or any other country, go to apologise to every nation it has wronged?

In ancient times, the Greeks and Turks fought fiercely. Ties between the neighbours are no better in the twenty first century. Should they apologise for what happened thousands of years ago?

As much as it upsets me when I think about what happened during the Raj, I find consolation in Cameron’s acknowledgement that it was “shameful”. His small step to visit Jallianwala Bhag has been a leap of pride for all those who were affected.